Sunday, November 2, 2008

Embarrassing stories contest (win free stuff!)

I still don't quite understand how the internet works, to be honest; I started this blog as a way of venting and trying to keep finding humor in my insane life. However, there are zillions of bloggers and networkers out there, and one blogging network invited me to participate in this cool holiday gift giveaway program. So you can enter my contest (see below) AND go to their site to see what other bloggers are giving away as prizes. (The site founder does cool jewelry in New York - so you can go there and pretend you're a Sex In The City type, running around Manhattan in uncomfortable-and-expensive-but-really-cute shoes, wearing trendy fun jewelry!) SO - if you want to win free stuff from other sites, check out http://esculonsays.com/category/holiday-gift-fest/ -
And if you want to win a free CD from me, here's the contest - submit your most embarrassing mommy moment as a comment (or if the site won't let you comment, you can do it through my website, www.laurenmayer.com). Starting Nov. 15th, I'll pick one embarrassing story per week and send you a copy of "Return of Psycho Super Mom" to give as a gift or to keep for yourself.
Here are a few of my own (and I'll continue trying to uncover the ones I've repressed) . . .
- I went to a networking meeting when my youngest son was less than a year old, so with a toddler and a baby I was pretty frazzled. I met someone I wanted to stay in touch with, so I reached into my pocket for a business card and pulled out . . . a pacifier. (Fortunately, as a humorist, I was able to say, "Well, these events ARE kind of stressful . . ."
- When my older son was a preschooler, he was incredibly friendly; we were leaving a coffeeshop, where he'd bonded with the waitress, so as I was paying, he announced he wanted to say 'bye bye', which I thought was adorable, until I turned around and realized he wasn't just saying good bye to the waitress, he was trying to hug every single customer!
- I remarried 4 years ago and both my boys were in the ceremony. I wasn't going to see my husband-to-be before we started, so I handed my younger son, Ben, a pile of Kleenex, asking him to give them to Scott to hold for me. Ben ran around for awhile first, so by the time he got to Scott, he just said, "Here', and handed him a wadded up mess of Kleenex, which Scott assumed was garbage and threw out. I didn't know this; we got to the part in the ceremony where Scott & my boys exchanged vows, and I started not just tearing up but weeping, and I whispered to Scott, "I need the kleenex!", and Scott gave me a blank stare, so there I was, in front of our nearest & dearest, with a nose so runny I was afraid I'd have to blow it on our huppa (wedding canopy), until a fast-thinking friend ran up with some extra tissues. By that time, I wasn't dabbing at my picturesque tears, I had to do a loud nose-blow . . .

Okay, I've bared my soul, now it's your turn!

8 comments:

Vered - MomGrind said...

I still don't get the whole thing either. The internet is a HUGE confusing place. :)

Blogging to vent is good. It's healthy!

We Know Best! said...

Hi Lauren, thanks for the great shout out for Esculonsays.com! I have a great embarrassing story for you. Happened to me at the worst point in one's life...adolescence!

It was my junior high graduation and I got called up on stage to receive a special award. Of course, at the time I was really into platform shoes (I know what you're thinking). Can you see where this is going? I ended up practically falling on my face while going down the stairs...all alone, just me, in front of the entire school and their families!

Sandy said...

as a mommy? wow there are plenty like boobs leaking when I first started popping them out and noone bothered to tell me I looked like I had two big eyes

but as a mommy my husband was coming back from a weekend trip and yelled in the airport- and it was not noisy...hey dad mom slept all alone in her bed this weekend while you were gone..none slept with her this time....umm- he was trying to say he was no longer afraid to sleep in his room with the boogies monsters

SeahorseLady said...

My most embarrassing moment had to be when I accidentally locked my keys in the car while my son was still in it. I was dropping him off at daycare and they had to call the fire department to get him out. I felt like the worst Mom on earth for doing that. I must admit that I've not done it again either.

Melissa said...

I have 2 siblings, both of whom are much younger than I (my brother is 14 years younger, my sister 17 years younger). So there I am, entering my local grocery store, 6 months pregnant and with both siblings in tow. I was approached by an older woman who exclaimed VERY loudly, "MY! Aren't you a fertile one!"
Gee thanks, lady

I'm Losing It! said...

I can't believe someone already posted about locking their keys in the car with their child in it. That's what I was going to post...but I can top hers! I locked my 2yo dd in a van that was stopped at a stop sign on the road...and RUNNING!

My daughter was screaming her head off, like only 2 year olds can, so while stopped, I decided to find her sippy cup for her. Unfortunately, it had rolled down by the sliding door and I couldn't reach it. I very quickly ran around to the sliding door...and tried to open it. Much to my dismay, I found that door LOCKED, as was every other door to the vehicle, because I had inadvertently hit the lock button with my elbow while standing there searching for the sippy cup. I ran to a nearby house and asked a lady to call 911. She did, they sent out a sheriff's deputy who called a locksmith. I just shook my head at the deputy and said, "Don't even ask." He didn't.

Letters and Poems said...

I am a very small person, every part of me is small, including my chest. My 4 year old daughter was visiting my mother-in-law one day. She climbed onto Gran's lap to cuddle. She must have realized she was a lot softer than me because she suddenly leaned back, looked down Gran's shirt and exclaimed "Gran, your boobies look like a big butt crack!" It was her first look at cleavage.....

Jennifer said...

My most recent embarassing mom story is: This year when we went Trick or Treating...my youngest(almost 2yrs old) puked in the driveway right in front of the candy bowl at the very FIRST house we stopped at!! I was mortified!

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